The Whelk Song has 4 verses about the owner of that great British (Belgian too) institution - a Fish & Chips shop. He (it has to be a he) is very particular about the cleanliness of the slab on which his precious whelks are kept. If anybody such as a mother with a pram within which a baby with chocolate covered finger is reposing, is at his stall or on the premises he will yell:
"If you don't want the whelks, don't muck 'em about"
This relatively modern song, © 1950, can be found it
Great Cockney Songs Vol. 1 and is the work of John Temple West, Johnny Reine, Louise Kulma (words & music). It was published by
Southern Music Publishing Co. Ltd.
For those not familiar with that ichthyic creature,
The Whelk, it is a predatory marine mollusc with a heavy pointed spiral shell, some kinds of which are edible.
When
Dr Oliver Rosteck and I teamed up, I thought this "sea song" would be ideal in our repertoire.