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Never tell lies
Last updated: 24.01.17
This is another my early boyhood favourites (between the ages of 5 and 7) which I loved my mother to sing. It is moral tale of a young maid seduced and murdered in a light-hearted bantering way, quite unlike the tale of The Murder of Maria Marten. It has some nice gruesome bits such as The tombstone fell on him and squish-squash he died and it was very easy to join in. There is no chorus but the first line is repeated with its final phrase three times!
My mother tells the story of my sister Cynthia having to learn it for school and she positively hated it. Where my mother got the song she never said but her version can be found in A Mum's (Mostly Musical) Memories.
She sat 'neath the lilacs and played her guitar,
Played her guitar, played her guitar.
She sat 'neath the lilacs and played her guitar,
Played her guitar ha-ha-ha.

He sat down beside her and smoked his cigar,
Smoked his cigar, smoked his cigar.
He sat down beside her and smoked his cigar,
Smoked his cigar ha-ha-ha.

He said that he loved her but oh how he lied,
Oh how he lied, oh, how he lied.
He said that he loved her but oh how he lied,
Oh how he lied ide-ide-ide.

They were to be married but somehow she died,
Somehow she died, somehow she died.
They were to be married but somehow she died,
Somehow she died ide-ide-ide.

He went to the funeral just for the ride,
Just for the ride, just for the ride.
He went to the funeral just for the ride,
Just for the ride ide-ide-ide.

He sat on the tombstone and laughed till he cried,
Laughed till he cried, laughed till he cried.
He sat on the tombstone and laughed till he cried,
Laughed till he cried ide-ide-ide.

The tombstone fell on him and squish-squash he died,
Squish-squash he died, squish-squash he died.
The tombstone fell on him and squish-squash he died,
Squish-squash he died ide-ide-ide.

She went to heaven and fluttered and flied,
Fluttered and flied, fluttered and flied.
She went to heaven and fluttered and flied,
Fluttered and flied ide-ide-ide.

He went to t'other place and frizzled and fried,
Frizzled and fried, frizzled and fried.
He went to t'other place and frizzled and fried,
Frizzled and fried ide-ide-ide.

Now the moral of this story is never tell lies,
Never tell lies, never tell lies.
Now the moral of this story is never tell lies,
Never tell lies ies-ies-ies.